Transcript of Video:
Eric: Well, if you’re not careful, money can be the root of a lot of problems in a relationship. So this morning we’re turning to Kurt Pearson from Compass Financial Services to help us out if money is creating problems in your life. Curt, how can we make both money and relationships work well together?
Kurt: Well, communication is one of the major keys, because we begin to create expectations and situations in our minds sometimes that aren’t actually accurate. And so those can build up, we let the tensions mount, and then we end up with those tensions coming out verbally. Much better to beat that to the punch and begin communicating very early about the issue of money, to make sure that we’re staying current, make sure we’re staying present with the issues, with the tensions that are going on in the relationship as it relates to the money issue.
Eric: So whether they’re moving in together or getting married or whatever, what should they be specifically talking about, couples?
Kurt: Well, very good question. Of course, communication should center around some of those key tension points. Usually, that relates to how we’re using debt. Everyone has a philosophy of that and that can create some tension. How we’re managing the cash flow, where’s the money going. Everyone has priorities and passions related to using their money properly. And then, of course, some of the more proactive decisions about what are our life goals, and what do we really want to be moving toward as a couple. So those are three crucial areas. And then focusing in on the facts is a very important part of that.
Eric: Because you don’t want to mislead them down the road, otherwise you’re going to be in trouble. You have to be honest.
Kurt: Exactly. And sometimes when that wall gets built, and we realize that hey, we’re kind of stuck in the same circular pattern in a relationship as it comes to money, one of the key issues that can bust us through that wall and into the next place is to really have a renewed focus on the facts.
Kurt: And of course, that deals with the cash flow statement, the net worth statement, some of the basic stuff that I’ve talked about for years. So that really is an important component, because those facts can be looked at without judgment and without creating that expectation.
Eric: So even if you are communicating well, there’s going to be some tensions sometimes, some disagreement. How do you bust through that?
Kurt: Well, setting up a weekly time that is specific to look over some of these financial documents that I’ve alluded to, that can be one way for people to do it. Well, usually in a couple, opposites usually attract, and so there’s usually one person that’s really into the facts and gathering the facts and organizing them. It’s very important to make sure that person isn’t alone in that process, and so the other individual needs to come alongside and say, “Hey, tell me what you’re seeing. Tell me what you’re noticing.” And so setting up a regular weekly time for that, I think, is one crucial way to bust through.
Eric: Got to be up front and be honest and talk to each other.
Kurt: Very important.
Eric: If you have any questions, give Kurt a call at Compass Financial. That number is 515-327-1020. Thanks so much Kurt.